


They Got Something To Say No To

by dogtier



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Bondage, Consent Issues, Crossdressing, Gunplay, M/M, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Rough Sex, Russian Roulette, Unsafe Gunplay
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-10-02
Updated: 2013-01-16
Packaged: 2017-11-15 12:07:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/527138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dogtier/pseuds/dogtier
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dirk's desire to have Jake dominate him doesn't exactly go like he imagined.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Based on [this Homesmut prompt](http://homesmut.dreamwidth.org/38154.html?thread=39585802) based in turn on [this Trollplay log](http://trollmegle.net/logs/3494570.html). Additional scenes are planned for this story, tags and warnings will be updated as chapters are added.
> 
> Content notes specific for this chapter: rape, non consensual drug use, bondage, and unsafe gunplay including Russian Roulette.

Dirk was not, habitually at least, a deep sleeper. As he blearily blinked his way back to consciousness that fact nagged at the back of his mind. 

"Hello Dirk," Jake said. "Shh, don't pull on those, you'll just hurt yourself."

"What?" Dirk asked. Sure enough, his hands were bound to the headboard. Despite Jake's statement he couldn't resist tugging experimentally. He repeated the action with each bare leg, spread apart and similarly bound with smooth, dark rope. Their was more slack in those lines but not enough to give him the leverage to fight anyone off. 

"It's important to know how to tie an efficient knot," Jake said. "When adventuring."

"What the hell Jake?" Dirk asked. His heart was coming out of its resting state, accelerating rapidly. Jake was sitting in a chair beside the bed, his back to the light coming in from the doorway. The rest of the room was dim, casting Jake's face into shadow. It was unnerving. 

"Me and your Auto-Responder had a nice chat while you were out," Jake said calmly. "It was most illuminating. I think I've come to understand you so much better, Dirk." 

"Jake," Dirk said. He cleared his throat. "I'm not sure what it told you-"

"Shh," Jake said, rising from his chair. "You aren't to talk until I _tell_ you to talk, do you understand?"

"Ja-" 

Jake wasn't as fast as Dirk but in Dirk's dazed state he was more than fast enough, his arm lashing out and the cold metal of the gun's butt whipping across Dirk's face with a crack.

"Fuck!" Dirk shouted. 

"Shut," Jake said, grabbing Dirk's face with his other hand, digging his fingers into the rising bruise. "Up." 

Dirk hissed in pain but didn't speak.

"Good," Jake said, releasing Dirk's face but not moving away. "Now as I was saying, I had the most interesting chat with your Auto-Responder while you were doing your sleeping beauty act. That was its idea too, you kept interrupting us and that just wasn't polite."

Jake tsked Dirk, shaking the pistol at him like a nanny's finger.

"You have the most atrocious manners, did you know that, Dirk? But don't worry, I'll teach you some. I know they say you can't teach old dogs new tricks but by jove, I'm in the mood to try." 

The way Jake was turned made the light from the hall hit the side of his face, giving Dirk just enough clarity to see his grin. Jake leaned over, checking Dirk's bonds in a business like manner before sliding up onto the bed, straddling Dirk's boxer clad hips. 

"Now Dirk," Jake said. "I think I'm going to allow you to speak for a moment. How much do you know about pistols?" 

"A few things," Dirk said cautiously. 

"A few? That's disappointing. I thought you were the type of man to be thorough in all his research. Or are you just being modest?"

"I'm not-"

"Or do you just want me to _teach_ you? Is that it Dirk, you like hearing people talk while they play with you?" 

"I-"

"This," Jake said, holding the gun up for Dirk's inspection. "This, right here, is a revolver. Also called a six-shooter, though some modern models have room for more rounds. I stuck with traditional six for this exercise." 

"This exercise," Dirk said.

"More a game," Jake said. He held up a single cartridge.

Dirk inhaled sharply, his body going rigid as he watched Jake slide the round into the cylinder and click it shut. He squeezed his eyes shut, listening to the metallic whirl of the cylinder spin and click of the hammer being cocked before the muzzle was placed against his forehead. 

"Dirk, I want you to open your eyes," Jake said. 

He struggled to obey. Jake repeated the order and Dirk managed it.

"Good," Jake said. His grin was ghastly in the half-light, his eyes obscured by the gleam on his glasses. "On three."

"Jake-"

"One."

"Please."

"Two."

" _Please._ "

"Three."

The trigger was pulled and Dirk gasped, his hips jerking up completely without his volition. Jake pulled the gun away, laughing. 

"Would you look at that," Jake said, rubbing down against Dirk's second aborted thrust. "Someone likes the game." 

"Jake," Dirk panted. 

"No, I think we're going back to you being quiet," Jake said. He placed the tip of the gun's barrel against Dirk's Adam's apple, laughing when Dirk swallowed raggedly. "On three again."

Time slowed down once again, all of reality shrinking into nothing but the sound of Jake's voice and the cold, cold of the metal against Dirk's sweating skin.

"Three."

A click and Dirk's hips jerked again, a whine of pleasure slipping from his lips. Jake cooed at him, stroking Dirk's face with the side of the gun's barrel, a mockery of gentleness. 

"So lovely," Jake said. "All flushed and eager. Want another? Why do I even ask, of course you do." 

Dirk's head swam. Calculations bubbled through the panic. Probabilities, rapidly climbing. Jake's free hand wandered down Dirk's chest, tweaking his nipple to watch him squirm before placing the gun right over Dirk's heart. 

"One," Jake began. Dirk bit his lip to hold in the whine that nearly drowned out the next two numbers.

There was a click, Dirk tasted blood.

"Be careful," Jake said. "You're hurting yourself again. Shouldn't do that. Unless you like that. Let's be honest, you probably do." 

Jake ran his fingers over Dirk's bloody lip, tilting his head to the side and back, as if examining a splendid piece of art. 

"Open," he said. 

Dirk obeyed, expecting those fingers to slip inside, slightly surprised when the sour metal of the gun's barrel forced its way in. Dirk gagged and Jake laughed while he twisted the pistol, wrenching Dirk's jaw open. 

"I said _open_ ," Jake said. 

Dirk's eyes watered and he inhaled deeply through his nose. 

"Shh," Jake shushed, reaching down between them and shoving Dirk's boxers out of the way. "Let me just take care of it. All you have to do is suck." 

Jake's hand wasn't gentle at all but gentleness was the last thing Dirk wanted. It took a few minutes before he realized Jake was jerking him in time with his timid sucks. He was less timid after that. 

"Good," Jake said. "Now you're getting it. One. Two. Three."

Another wonderful click, punctuated by Jake digging his thumb into that spot right below the head of Dirk's cock where foreskin met shaft. He _scratched_ and Dirk let out a muffled scream.

"Let's not keep dicking around," Jake said. "Heh, dicking. One." 

Jake didn't let up with his hand, working faster, eye wide as he watched Dirk suck and lick the damn gun like it was the last popsicle on Earth and popsicles were also the cure for some terrible life threatening disease and fuck metaphors didn't even matter anymore because the gun clicked again and Jake pinched down at the base of Dirk's shaft to keep him from coming. 

Dirk hissed and tried to spit the gun out in anger. Jake giggled, fucking _giggled_ , and pushed in, pressing down on Dirk's tongue until Dirk had to relent in his struggles or vomit. 

"Pop quiz," Jake said. "Been counting?"

_Six_ came the voice in the back of Dirk's mind. It was important that he remembered _six_. Six what? He didn't- he didn't- it was hard to think and oh _fuck_.

He started to struggle once again. Jake shoved the gun deeper as Dirk yanked on the ropes, trying to throw Jake off. It was no use. 

"Poor Dirk," Jake said, jerking Dirk's cock roughly until Dirk whimpered and keened in pleasure around the metal. He was so close but he couldn't tell anymore if the pounding in his head and chest was from the passion or the _terror_. "Poor little Dirk."

Dirk struggled to breath, eyes watering. Jake didn't stop moving his hand. 

"I wonder if we'll miss him," Jake said. "Or if the robot will be just as good. I mean, Dirk's practically a machine himself. Only more... vulnerable." 

Jake squeeze, hard enough to hurt. Beyond hurt. 

"One." 

Jake let go, bringing his arm up to lay it across Dirk's thrashing chest, holding Dirk down with all his weight as he shoved the barrel in and in.

"Two."

Dirk squeezed his eyes shut, mind racing and racing. There was no way, there was no way out. How had he allowed himself to get in this situation? How could he have been so _stupid?_

"Three."

The gun clicked. 

Dirk's eyes flew open as Jake sat back and cackled.

"The look on your _face_ ," Jake said between laughs. "Oh- fuck. Dirk? Dirk?"

Things were going a bit black around the edges. Was he the one breathing like that? The choking noise was him? Jake seemed to be saying something. Dirk's name over and over maybe, he struggled to listen as Jake tossed the gun off the bed. 

"I palmed the bullet," Jake said. "Fuck Dirk, look at me."

Jake slapped Dirk lightly, then harder. Dirk jerked to awareness. 

"Untie me," Dirk rasped out. He tugged the ropes. Fuck, he needed to be untied right the fuck now. Now now _now_. 

"Fuck," Jake said again, not bothering with knots and pulling out his pocket knife. "Don't move, hold still-"

Dirk couldn't and Jake slashed several inches above his hands instead.

"There, better-"

Dirk tackled Jake. His legs were still tied but pure blinding panic and rage could do wonders. He twisted them over the bed, legs tangling as he pinned Jake on his back. 

"D-"

"No," Dirk growled. "No _you_ shut up now." 

Jake's eyes were very large behind his glasses. Dirk slapped them off his face. Jake tried with his knife, Dirk slapped that away too. 

"You stupid fucking bastard," Dirk swore, raking his fingers down Jake's sides and going for his belt. His fingers were shaking, shaking bad but he got it open and the fly down. He dug his nails into Jake's hips as he shoved his mouth down Jake's cock. His lip split again. He tasted nothing but blood. 

"Yes!" Jake hissed, hands sinking into Dirk's hair, shoving him down. Dirk moaned, hips humping the bed as Jake held him in place to fuck his hips up wildly. It was dirty and shameful and hurt so goddamn much. Dirk came, nearly choking from lack of air as Jake used his throat to finish himself off as well. 

Dirk pulled back and coughed. Then coughed some more. Jake ran his fingers through Dirk's hair and Dirk jerked away, tangling in the ropes again. He clawed at the knots. 

"Shh," Jake said, holding his hands out in a placating manner. "I'll cut you loose, just-"

"No, fuck, no," Dirk said. "Leave, you just leave."

"Dirk-"

"Leave!" 

"You're being a total wanker right now, you know that?" Jake asked as he rose.

"I'm- _I'm_ being a wanker?" Dirk shouted. He was trembling. It was rage, he was sure it was rage. 

"Pitiful," Jake said, shaking his head and turning away. "Glasses on the desk." 

Dirk finally got the knots loose, freeing his legs. They were bleeding. His wrists were raw and red as well but the skin didn't seem broken there. He needed to get up and go clean them. Yeah, cleaning. Important to do. 

But first he picked up his glasses and put them on. It took a second to adjust to the light. 

TT: Hello, Dirk.    
TT: Was that satisfactory?    
TT: Or will a repeat performance be required?   
TT: We welcome your feedback. 

Dirk very carefully removed the glasses and hurled them at the far wall.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay in the second chapter, hopefully the last two will be out quicker. Slight edits have been made to first chapter for the sake of consistent formatting. 
> 
> Content notes specific for this chapter: crossdressing, forced feminization, dirty talk including degrading language, spanking, rimming, intercrural sex, and erotic asphyxiation.

"Poor boy," Jake said, taking Dirk's bare foot into his lap as they sat on the couch. Jake caressed Dirk's bandaged ankle. Dirk resisted the urge to pull away as Jake lifted the appendage and laid a sweet kiss to the arching bones right under the skin. 

"I'm fine," Dirk said. He turned back to the television, ignoring Jake's tickling. 

"I got you a present," Jake said, walking his fingers up Dirk's calf. "Aren't you curious?" 

"Sure," Dirk said. 

"Smashing!" Jake said, pushing Dirk aside and nearly bouncing off the couch. "I'll lay everything out, give me a few minutes. I'll call when you should come in." 

Dirk laid back against the arm of the couch and debated changing the channel. Jake watched the worst drivel imaginable. The sort of animal documentaries that all decent channels had banned years ago, with over eager commentators talking about savagery and barely restraining their orgasms over blood and gristle.

TT: Quality entertainment you've got there.   
TT: Only the finest for Mr. English.  
TT: You eat it up.  
TT: You eat up everything he gives you, don't you?

"It's ready!" Jake called eagerly from the other room. 

Dirk removed his glasses and left them on the couch. 

"Ta-da!" Jake said when Dirk entered, waving at the dress and accessories laid out on the bed. 

"It's blue," Dirk said. 

"Well, yes," Jake said. "I'd thought it would suit you."

Dirk tilted his head and regarded Jake from the corner of his eye. Did English really think a bit of frills and lace were enough to freak him out? 

"I suppose you want to see me in it," Dirk said.

"Well, it would be rather bloody rude to not at least _pretend_ you like your present," Jake said, folding his arms over his chest and looking quite on his way towards pouting. 

"I like it fine," Dirk said. "Now shoo."

"What?" 

"No peaking at the lady before she's ready," Dirk said. "Shoo."

"Right!" Jake said. He scurried out of the room but paused at the door. "Are you _sure_ you don't need a helping-"

"Shoo!" 

Jake, ever the gentleman, closed the door behind him. He didn't even leave a crack to peek through. Dirk pulled his t-shirt off an started on his belt, eyeing the dress. It was a rather tasteful blue actually, not pastel but not the obnoxiously bright shade of alien twat Jake liked either. Just blue. Uncharacteristically restrained. 

The frills on the white petticoat were less restrained, but at least the panties only have a small little ruffle and bow at the top. They were satin and Dirk wasted no time sliding them on as soon as his briefs were removed. No point lollygagging around as Jake would say. The dress zipped up the back but it wasn't that difficult to figure out on his own. The petticoat was hiked up quickly. All that was left was a necklace and a pair of lacy short socks. 

Dirk picked up the necklace and regarded it coldly. It looked very old, the chain was discolored and the pendent worn down. He unhooked the tiny little latch, struggling a bit to refasten it behind his head. He straightened it so it laid correctly over his collar bone, dragging his hands down his chest and smoothing out the little details of the dress. 

"Knock knock," Jake said at the door. So impatient. 

"Come in," Dirk called back, forcing his voice into a dainty falsetto. If he was taking Jake's dare he was taking it _all the way_.

"Well look at that," Jake said, leaning against the door frame. "Pretty as a picture show." 

Jake strode into the room, attempting a macho strut. Dirk pretended to swoon as Jake circled around him and stopped at the bed. 

"You forgot a bit," Jake said, picking up and waving the socks in front of Dirk's face. "Sit down."

Dirk obeyed, arranging his skirts out neatly on the bedspread as Jake knelt in front of him. Jake reached for the bandage around Dirk's left ankle.

"Hey," Dirk said. Jake shushed him. 

"It's alright, darling," Jake said, kissing Dirk's knee as his fingers deftly unwrapped the wound. It wasn't bleeding, hadn't been for days, but the fresh red skin still stung when it was exposed to the air. Jake lifted Dirk's foot and kissed right on that damaged stripe, looking up to gauge Dirk's reaction. Dirk gave him nothing. Jake smiled and lowered Dirk's foot, picking up the sock and sliding it on. 

Dirk was getting real sick of not being able to read Jake when he was like this. 

The sock ended right on the damaged skin, the white frills emphasizing the red. Jake repeated his actions on the other foot, fussing and adjusting until they laid just right. 

"What a lovely lady, from toes on up," Jake said at last. 

"We'll have to paint them next time," Dirk said. 

"Yes," Jake agreed, kissing Dirk's knee as he thumbed the sock's lace back and forth across sore flesh. "We will." 

Jake rose and gestured for Dirk to stand up.

"Come on," he said. "Give us a twirl." 

Jake whistled lowly as Dirk obeyed. He was ridiculous sometimes. 

"What would the gentleman like now?" Dirk asked. 

"Come on, sit in my lap," Jake said excitedly, sitting against the headboard and patting said lap. Dirk struggled not to roll his eyes. Couldn't do that, didn't have his shades.

"This is so naughty, mister," Dirk said. 

"Relax," Jake said. 

"But mister-" 

"I said _relax_ ," Jake repeated. He leaned in to whisper right in Dirk's ear. "I can get the gun again if that would help."

"Not necessary," Dirk said, dropping the falsetto. Jake _laughed_

"Come on, up up up," Jake said, pulling and pushing on Dirk until he arrange himself straddling Jake up on his knees, crotch level with Jake's collar bone. He grabbed the headboard for balance as Jake pushed his hands up under the skirt and gave a good feel.

Dirk's hips jerked ever so minutely when Jake snapped the elastic of the underwear. 

"Oh, you wore them," Jake said.

"Of course," Dirk said. "Thought I was going to just go commando in something this nice?"

"Wouldn't put it past you," Jake said. He pushed up the dress and petticoat so he could mouth Dirk's erection through the panties.

"Not very gentlemanly to doubt- fuck," Dirk said. 

"You're so wet," Jake said, kissing the head of Dirk's cock through the cloth. The skirt blocked Jake's face from Dirk's view but Dirk was sure Jake was smirking, the asshole. "So wet and eager to get fucked." 

Dirk wondered if "daddy" was suppose to be his response, so he did a breathy moan instead. Couldn't go wrong with that. The satin rubbing back and forth felt quite good actually, though the cut of the panties was a bit restrictive. After several minutes of the torturous licks and sucks his moans were hardly being faked at all. Especially when Jake turned his head to take the width of Dirk between his teeth and lightly bite. 

"Jake!" Dirk said, though it just made Jake pull away. "Ah fuck, come on."

"Be good," Jake said. His hand which had been cupping Dirk's ass moved to rub the satin right over Dirk's entrance and Dirk hissed. It was a slow, slow circling tease. It was time to take drastic measures if anyone was going to get off anytime soon.

"Please, daddy," Dirk tried. Jake froze.

"Really?" he asked, annoyed. His hands left Dirk's body. 

"Please, _master?_ "

Jake shoved Dirk backwards.

"On your knees," he ordered. 

Dirk obeyed, jutting his ass out as Jake shoved the skirts out of the way and yanked the panties down, just far enough to expose Dirk's hole to his bare tongue. 

"Yes," Dirk hissed. It felt even better with nothing in the way. "Yes, fuck me." 

"Dirty girl," Jake scolded, pulling back and slapping Dirk's ass sharply. Dirk gasped. "Oh, you like that? I should have known." 

Jake slapped again, laughing when Dirk's whole body jerked in response.

"That probably hurts, doesn't it? Not exactly any meat on your bones."

"No cushion for the pushin'?"

"You're not clever," Jake said, hand coming down over and over. Each slap made Dirk's body jerk, his now freed cock bouncing against his stomach. It was driving him out of his head.

"Yes," Dirk said. 

"Yes, what?" Jake asked. "Oh never mind, you aren't even listening." 

He stilled his hand, rubbing Dirk's sore skin and tutting.

"No," Dirk said. He didn't mean for Jake to _stop_. "I'll be good." 

Jake chuckled. 

"There we go," Jake said. He brought his hand up and back down with an echoing crack. "And one to grow on." 

Dirk hissed involuntarily at the pain. 

"Sorry," Jake said, hands soft on Dirk's stinging skin. "Let me kiss it better." 

Jake was good with his tongue, all the talking must have strengthened the muscle, but Dirk didn't really care where he had figured it all out as long as he kept spreading Dirk open and shoving it in. 

"Jake," Dirk panted. Saying his name made Jake redouble his efforts, the egotistical little jerkoff. "Fuck English, put your back into it." 

Instead Jake pinched down on Dirk's reddened skin, laughing when Dirk shoved his hips back for more.

"You're such a slut," Jake said, voice thick with affection as he reached between Dirk's legs and began to jerk him in time with the licks of his tongue. It only took a few hard tugs before Dirk was coming, collapsing flat on his face as soon as Jake pulled away.

"Takes one to know one," Dirk muttered. Jake just laughed and patted him on his side, getting off the bed and heading to the bathroom. Dirk kicked off the panties, they were a loss anyway. Jake returned and his were fingers cold with lube on Dirk's thighs. Dirk was a bit surprised when Jake just spread it around there instead of trying to finger him. 

"Squeeze together," Jake said, pushing on the outside of Dirk's thighs until he was squeezing hard enough to be satisfactory. Ah, so that was it. "There's a good girl." 

Jake groaned as he pushed his cock into the tight channel made by Dirk's legs. Jake's cock bumped against Dirk's balls with every thrust. It felt strange, the sensations amplified by the post-orgasmic oversensitivity. 

"Ah, Dirk," Jake groaned, hips jerking unsteadily. He kept slipping free, having to pause and readjust himself. 

"Christ you're shitty at this," Dirk muttered the third time it happened. 

"What?" Jake asked.

"I said-"

"No, I heard you," Jake said. His hand reached up to yank on Dirk's necklace, twisting the chain until it pulled tight on Dirk's neck, sharply cutting off his air supply. 

Dirk open his mouth to speak, gagging when Jake just twisted the chain tighter in response. 

"You're so pretty," Jake said as he continued to fuck Dirk's thighs. "Like this. Quiet. With your face all red." 

Dirk gripped the bedsheets and refused to make a sound. It was becoming easier to accomplish as he began to see black at the edges of his vision. 

"We could paint them so they always looked like this," Jake said. "It's a good look for you, but I might get jealous if anyone else got to see."

Jake jerked on the chain, yanking Dirk's head back sharply and _forcing_ a squeal and the last bit of saved air from Dirk's throat. 

"We'll just keep this our little secret, alright?" 

Jake's thighs clamped down on the outside of Dirk's, keeping him nice and tight, and Dirk wondered if he would keep it up even after Dirk lost consciousness. Dirk's hands spasmed, losing their grip and clawing uselessly instead as blackness closed in. 

"Good girl," Jake said. He twisted one last time, so hard Dirk was almost sure he was going to have his head garroted clean off before he suddenly let go, hands flying to Dirk's waist as he shoved in twice more and came. Dirk's head bang against the mattress and he sucked in great gasps of air, only blearily aware as Jake pulled away. 

Jake's hands were gentle as they removed the necklace, making Dirk only flinch a couple times. He felt like a wreck, his throat still aching while he laid in a cum stained dress. It was almost laughable. He stared at the mattress, listening to Jake leaving and reentering the room once more.

"Sit up," Jake ordered. "I got you some water. Up, up, I don't want you spilling it all over yourself."

Dirk obeyed, even though swallowing hurt. Jake smiled at him when the glass was finished, taking it from his numb fingers and putting it on the bedside table. He stroked Dirk's face, lingering on his jawline before finally darting down to thumb the mark from the necklace. 

"You really do look lovely," Jake said.

"Thanks," Dirk said.

"Now go wash up before the stain sets in," Jake said. "It's rude to ruin gifts." 

"Fuck you," Dirk said. He stumbled on his first step towards the bathroom. His head was still dizzy but he wasn't going to be so pathetic as to ask for a lie down. Getting the zipper down was harder than he remembered getting it up being. The florescent lights were harsh and he could hear Jake leave the bedroom, his voice muffled by several walls. Talking to himself again, typical Jake. 

Stupid fucking typical Jake. 

There was no way that stain was coming out.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well so much for getting the rest of these chapters out quicker. If things shake out the way I plan this story will be five chapters total. 
> 
> Content notes specific for this chapter: Ponyplay, watersports.

The bit and bridle were laying on the bed when Dirk entered the bedroom. He heard a jolly whistling down the hall, Jake going about his business but letting Dirk know he was about. 

Dirk picked up the equipment. It was well made, real leather going by the smell. He wondered where the rest of the tack was. If Jake was doing this half-assed Dirk was going to rip his head off. The whistling was coming towards him. 

"Lovely day, isn't it?" Jake said as he entered, carrying the toy saddle with him. Well that was one less thing to kick Jake's ass over. 

"Pretty nice out," Dirk agreed. 

"Wonderful!" Jake said. "I believe you know what to do if I'm not mistaken." 

Getting into the gear proved to be a bit more difficult than Dirk anticipated. Jake's fingers were rough and clumsy pulling the saddle tight and Dirk would have chocked it up to malice if Jake incompetence wasn't so routine. 

"Just a moment," Jake said, jerking the reins once before rising. "I forgot a piece." 

Dirk practiced breathing behind the bit while he waited for Jake's return. They really needed to vacuum the carpet sometime soon. 

"Here we go!" Jake announced. "Forgot the tail, completely thoughtless of me, it would hardly be accurate without it." 

Jake pushed Dirk's head down when he tried to turn and watch Jake prepare the tail plug. Jake's cold hands on his ass was a slight surprised, and Jake shoved one slick finger in, only doing a cursorily lube job before pulling out and pushing the tip of the plug against Dirk's hole. 

"Come on," Jake said. "I know you can take it, I've seen the videos, open up." 

Dirk's brain could only half process what was coming out of Jake's mouth while he gritted his teeth and took it.

"Perfect," Jake said as the plug popped in. He twisted it, adjusting the fall of the hair before sitting back. "Why I'd say this is a shining example of equine beauty. Just shining." 

Jake seemed contented to just admire Dirk, stroking his hair and shoulders and legs. Dirk snorted and whinnied a bit and Jake chuckled indulgently each time. 

"Is my pony thirsty?" Jake asked, hand never ceasing it's steady strokes down Dirk's upper back. Dirk had to admit he was, he had been preoccupied most of the morning with robotics work and circuit boards and soda did not mix. "Let's get you something to drink. Come on, walk."

Jake rose and tugged on the reins. Dirk shuffled along on his hands and knees to the kitchen, where Jake released him with a pat on the head and a "good boy". He went to the sink and Dirk heard water splashing before Jake set a full bowl on the floor and carefully undid the strap behind Dirk's head so he could remove the bit.

"There you go," Jake said, gesturing to the water. "Have a drink."

Dirk still wasn't used to the taste of cool, fresh water. His apartment had only been able to do so much as far as filtering went with limited fuel and so much damn salt. The first time he had tasted Jane's triple filtered ice cold shit he had nearly cried. Now on the floor, mouth sore from the bit, it was like experiencing it for the first time all over again.

"There," Jake said again. "You like that don't you?

Dirk nodded, still drinking.

"Good," Jake said.

He was getting towards the bottom, it was hard to slurp up the last bits. He paused in his water lapping and Jake cleared his throat. He must not be satisfied yet.

"Don't worry, I'll help," Jake said. He took the bowl off the floor and went to refill it. "Come on, have your fill."

The second wasn't as fun as the first. About halfway through it started to get hard to continue drinking. He was thankfully when the bowl was nearly empty. He had to get his chin wet to get the last of it out but finally he could stop. 

"You sure are thirsty, aren't you?" Jake commented. He picked up the bowl and went to the sink once again. He refilled it and set it back on the floor, brimming to the top. "Here."

Dirk swallowed hard.

"Here," Jake repeated, tapping the bowl with his foot and making water spill over the rim. 

Dirk bent his head and began to drink again. 

"You're making a mess," Jake said, kneeling and petting Dirk's hair. "Shh, slow down." 

Dirk obeyed. It was impossible to not obey with Jake touching him like that. His fingers on bare skin made Dirk's head turn into static. With slow, long slurps Dirk finished off the water. This time Jake took up the bowl and set it away.

"Good boy," Jake said. He thumbed the corner of Dirk's wet mouth. "We should brush your mane." 

Jake knelt on the floor beside Dirk as he worked Dirk's hair with the thick bristled brush. It kept getting caught on dried hairgel and Jake would roughly yank it through. It hurt and Dirk gritted his teeth against it. Eventually all the gel was worked free and the soothing brush strokes lulled him into noticing the growing pain in his abdomen.

"There we go!" Jake said, probably beaming with pride. "Looking pretty good."

Jake pulled the saddle's straps, testing the tightness and Dirk couldn't hold back a squirm at the pressure over his bladder. Jake saw it, of course he saw it, because he repeated the action. 

"Whoa there," Jake said, catching Dirk's chest as one elbow gave out. Jake made shushing noises and shifted so that Dirk's upper body was lying across his lap. It was nice to not be forced to support himself any longer, so Dirk slumped into it indulgently. 

Jake's fingers left the saddle and went down to the tail plug, circling the silicon, thumb cold on Dirk's hot, stretched skin. When Jake nudged it with his knuckles Dirk whined, cock jerking and leaking a bit of piss onto Jake's thigh. Jake caressed the strip of bare flesh between the saddle and plug, fingers tracing vertebrae while Dirk tried to breathe. 

"There we go," Jake said. "Just relax."

Dirk only tensed further, trying to wriggle to take the pressure off his stomach without Jake noticing. Jake noticed. His hand came down on Dirk's bottom with a loud smack. Dirk whimpered, cock jerking and leaking again.

"Bad pony," Jake said. Dirk wasn't sure what part he meant. "But I can forgive you, it's natural to be a bit worked up in these situations."

Jake's hand caressed Dirk before gripping his thigh, making him grind down into Jake's lap.

"Come on," Jake said. "You know you want to."

Dirk shook his head and Jake petted his hair. God he needed to piss so badly but the thought made his face heat up in humiliation.

"Do I need to help you?" Jake said. Dirk shook his head. "Don't lie, I think you need me to help."

Jake was shifting and Dirk was momentarily thankful until he felt Jake slide up behind him and reach around to grip his cock and _squeeze_.

That bastard. That beautiful, perfect bastard.

It was impossible to hold back, Jake's large fist jerking him like he was coming instead of pissing all over the floor like an animal. 

"There," Jake said, pulling his hand away and wiping it on Dirk's leg. "Isn't that better?" 

Dirk wondered if he was going to be allowed to move out of the puddle anytime soon. And how long it would take to scrub the smell away later. He was jerked out of his thoughts by a swift smack across his ass.

"Love that sound," Jake said. "I really should have gone all out and gotten a crop, you'd look so nice with red all over- oh well! Best not to dwell, we must make do with what we have on hand." 

He expected another smack from Jake's hand but instead felt the hard impact of the wooden hairbrush, harsh enough to knock Dirk forward and jostling the plug inside him. The next hit came even quicker. And then the next until Dirk whimpered. 

"So pretty," Jake said, pausing in his abuse to kiss the sore skin. He reached around and fisted Dirk's cock again while he licked the skin stretched by the tail plug. Dirk wondered if Jake was ever going to man up and fuck him already instead of being a sadistic tease. He wondered if he could fight off coming long enough to find out.

He failed.

"There we go," Jake said, stroking him through it. "There's a good boy. You like that, don't you? When I call you a good boy? Maybe I should have gone with dog ears instead."

Jake laughed, wiping his hand off on Dirk's thigh before rising. Dirk's elbows shook where they supported him.

"You alright?" Jake asked, head cocked to the side like he was the one pretending to be an animal. God it was adorable. Dirk shuffled forward, not minding the messy floor and nuzzled Jake's hard on through his shorts. Oh god _the smell_. 

"Christ, you're into this," Jake whispered, laughing again but a bit more harshly this time. 

Jake pushed him away, knocking Dirk's hands away when he tried to grab. 

"Right," Jake said. "Right, we just- right." 

Dirk didn't know what to do, so he just watched as Jake leaned against the counter and raked a hand through his hair, eyes wide behind his glasses.

"Regroup," Jake muttered. "We need to regroup, this was not what you said was going to happen you piece of electronic-"

He cut himself off. 

"Fuck it," Jake said. He knelt and fumbled with the straps to Dirk's saddle. "Useless, absolutely useless." 

Dirk's knees were having trouble supporting him and he collapsed to the side as soon as Jake pulled him free of the leather binding. 

"There," Jake said, tossing the saddle aside and ruffling Dirk's hair. "You can handle the rest, can't you? There's a good lad. Boy. Pony."

And then he left. Fucking typical lazy ass Jake. That guy, honestly. Dirk couldn't believe him sometimes. And he was taking to himself in the other room _again_. 

Were his eyes watering? Fuck he hoped he hadn't splashed piss in them.


End file.
